"What we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you, too, may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and His son, Jesus Christ." -1 John 1:3

The Christian life is about fellowship. When we are in Christ, we attain fellowship with God the Father, having been reconciled to Him through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:18) and with Christ Himself. They are a package deal, as Jesus said: “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

We are members of the Body – the Church that Christ paid for and built by the pouring out of His blood and Spirit on the cross. We are members – citizens of the household of God through our faith in Christ (Galatians 3:26, Ephesians 2:19).

We are not to do this alone. Often in the Bible, there were those who seemingly had solitary existences. Elijah being one of my heroes from the Bible, spent time in the desert with only God to uplift him. He then had Elisha as a companion. Even Elijah needed someone on Earth.

I think of Jonah, too. He was alone when he fled from God. He did end up on a ship with many others, though, he was removed for bringing God’s wrath upon them all. He ended up alone in the wilderness with a dying tree as company.

But now we live in the age where there are church buildings everywhere – almost as many as Starbucks! It should be easy for us to find people and places where we can have fellowship with other believers. Right?

“Wrong!” -Arnold Schwarzenegger, Commando 1984

I am more alone than I have ever been. Ever since the while lockdown started, I have barely left my house to go anywhere except work and the grocery store. I have recently started going shooting again with Dad, and going to the gym (we will see how long I can stomach that). But when I go to the gym, I am alone. Surrounded by all those people, there is not one of them with whom I can or would talk to.

I recently bought a Groupon voucher for the Waterland Arcade. I would like to use that soon, but I know I am going to hate going, because I will be there alone, and it would not be much fun. I would rather be home with a cigar and a cup of coffee. I am more or less trying to force myself to have a life.

And I get so wrapped up in trying to find my life’s work. I need that job that I will feel good about doing until I am 80, because LORD knows I will never be able to retire. I have gone through twenty-some options and none of them seem right. I just know what I do not want to do. I will not waste much more time talking of my job situation. It is depressing enough to me, and I would rather not bring anyone reading this down to my level of depression over it.

My concern is the lack of people in my life. Jesus said: “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I will be among them” (Matthew 18). I can not even have that. My one friend, who is a devout believer (though he and I differ greatly on many points now), I never even see and rarely talk to. He is more into Covid and politics now. And if I try to bring religion up, I get nothing but angry text messages about how wrong I am and him preaching his sermons. It gets old. I can not have actual discussions with him anymore.

This is a case of reaping what we sew, really. I spent most of my life embracing my anti-social self and shunning society. Because most of it does suck, honestly.

But now at 40 (and not to sound like Eric Nix), it only gets harder to meet people and start doing things. And I refuse to go the Richard route with Events and Adventures. Like online dating, it sounds desperate. I prefer to remain in my private hell than look desperate (pride?).

So, basically, I have set myself up for a life of solitude. The only people I can cope with are my co-workers, probably because I know I only have to see them for certain hours and on certain days. With significant others, it is kind of an indeterminate amount of time. I like to know when I will have my freedom from them. And I think I enjoy my “freedom” to much. I need to be able to remove myself from others when I want, and with an S.O., you can not always have your way.

I am always in a damned if you do, damned if you do not situation. That is why I am OK with the idea of some good friends to discuss deep things with once in a while. And you can be freer to see them or not as you might wish.

In every sense I think I am determined to be a loner, to be the “lone wolf” (tattoo idea). That is my “spirit guide,” I think. But no. I need the Spirit of God to guide me through these times. I can always talk to Him. I do not always get answers right away. But if there is anyone we can – and should bear our sols to, it is our Father in Heaven. HE knows what we are thinking and feeling, anyway.

For all unbelievers, too. That is why you should put your trust in Jesus our Messiah. YHWH has knitted us all together in our mother’s womb. He knew we would be sinful and disobedient. And He gave His Son as the sacrifice for our sins. We were bought for God by Jesus’ blood. Recognize and acknowledge this, and repent! The Kingdom of God is at hand!

So, no matter if we find ourselves alone here on Earth, we have a Father and Mediator watching over us, who can help us through. We can not do life alone. It is too hard. Finding fellowship with others would be a great thing, but it is not something to be rushed or hurried, just for the sake of having people. If we do that, we will likely make the wrong choices in friends and companions. Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Corinthians 13:33).

But always turn to YHWH and Jesus the Messiah. So, when the Day of the LORD is upon us, and the bad company is all gone, we will have fellowship forever with the Father and His Son, and the true believers, in perfect harmony.

“Good things come to those who wait,” as the saying goes. Wait on the LORD (Psalm 37). He will give us everything and everyone we need in due time. “Patience is a virtue,” is another classic saying – but better yet, patience is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

I may be alone now, and it sucks. But someday, I know, God will place me amongst His angels, His followers, and His Son, Jesus Christ, for eternity. I will no longer be alone, but joyful and content. True fellowship awaits in the Kingdom of God. LORD, I pray your kingdom come, soon.

***LORD, God YHWH, I thank you that you have called me to you through your Son, Jesus the Messiah. You have given me your Spirit, the Comforter, as Jesus called it. In this way, I know I always have fellowship with you. I pray you will soon place me among others on Earth with whom I can talk and reason and learn more of you and your ways. People who love you and desire more fellowship with you and other like-minded humans. I will do my best to remain patient, for I know you work on your time, at your will. Let your will be done always. Please, forgive me of my sins, and help me always be stronger against temptations. Help me be more Christ-like every day, extending love, grace, and mercy to all; so that I may prove myself an heir with Him to your kingdom. And always, that I may glorify you in all I do, think, and say. LORD God YHWH, I love you and pray to you always, in the great name of your Son, Jesus, our Messiah. Amen. ***


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